It has been awhile since I posted here, mostly because I felt finished with all I promised Dolores and therefore done. The long trip filled the days that otherwise would have been endless pain of loss and loneliness were instead filled with new faces and places and the sense of the journey.
For all of that, and the people I met along the way, I say thank you one and all, you helped me to heal and get past the roughest time in my life. I now find myself five months past her death and it seems like yesterday and a hundred years ago all at the same time. I am forcing myself to move forward as I know she would want me to do, I’m moving into a new house with an old friend and will be surrounded by family and friends that love and support me at every turn. I feel very blessed to have this support.
I have come to understand that the pain may ease with time but the loss will never leave me. I wish I had more pictures of her, I wish I had a recording of her voice, or a video of her to remind me of her grace of movement. Of course these were the things that were seen through my eyes and heard through my ears and filtered with my love for her.
So much is happening in the world around me, an election, economic crisis, recovering from a hurricane just to name a few, and yet I feel detached and removed from it all, things that Dolores and I took great interest in our short life together.
It is my hope that by continuing this site that perhaps I can leave a hopeful path that others will unfortunately find themselves on and in some small way maybe ease their journey.
I will at other times leave my impression of what is going on in our world and my solution to any and all problems, which I’m sure you await with baited breath!
Until then,
The Demonmaster
Rick:
When I lost Cathy after her brain surgery and spending 26 years of our lifes together, and the plans of our golden years together gone I wish that I had the stones to take of on a long ride. Maybe things in my life would have been different, but I can tell you one thing for sure God put Tammy into my live and she is a true gift from God!
When I went down last month and with the head injuries most woman that I have known would have bailed. Not Tammy she has been at my side taking care of me 24/7. He has someone planned for you Bro. I didn’t want to fall in love again and I did everything to fight it, He let me crash to get my attention.
Bro God speed and I hope to see ya at The Damn Saturday. Love ya Bro, Ed
I am glad to see you back on posting. I do believe that putting our thoughts down do help us heal. It has been 20 months since I lost Ray and I still have times when it is hard for me to believe that he is gone. The empty spot is still inside of me – the spot that Ray filled and it feels lonely there. I wish you all the best and look forward to more postings from you, my friend.
Hugs to you,
Diane
Morning Rick,
I was wondering how you were gettin’ along, now I know you are healing and going to move on with your life. I lost my Deborah after thirty years of life together, to cancer nine years ago. I really had that empty, lost feeling for two years, then a friend set me up on a blind date. Since then I’ve met many really wonderful women but none stoled my heart like Mary Jo from Austin has, so now I know God wants us to be happy in our later years.
Hang in there Rick, time heals all loss, and I believe you can love again in your twilite years.
God be with you, Carl
Rick, you know I always pray for you. You have a special place in my heart. You are one awesome guy, and I’m so glad God brought you into our lives.