Dolores Anne Young
I talk to her all the time aloud when I’m alone in the house or in the yard or when riding along a back roads on the scooter. And silently when in the company of others, so I will not be taken as a mad fool! I ask for her to comfort me when I feel overwhelmed and so alone, and somehow I almost immediately feel warmth spread over me, the same as I remember feeling when she would hold me with the tenderness that only she could. And it works!
I know it must sound crazy but I really can sense her near me at times. And I wish it were more often and lasted longer, but if it did, would I heal and continue my life as I should? I think she knows best as always and I will learn as I go what is best for me. The thing about having such a great love is twofold, one, you will always have that which few are ever able to find and I feel so blessed and fortunate. And two, you know that you have had the very best and will never have anything close to it for the rest of your life and so look only to the day you can once again be with your love.
And knowing this I feel OK about it really, She gave me in this life all a woman could ever give a man and more. She inspired in me more things than I thought possible and I am still finding that inspiration alive within me and growing. I have always felt somewhat unworthy of such undying love and admiration, and still do. Yet she always made me feel as if I were special in some rare way, and that is something unless you have felt it you will never understand just how powerful and healing it can be for someone.
She told me on many occasions that I gave to her the same or even more. Although I would like to think that, I know better. I merely tried to do the same, and know that once in a while I managed to come close. I do feel surrounded by her love everyday and know in my heart that she watches over me and will protect me as best she can as always. And I hope that all I do in this life left to live will be a befitting tribute to the love she gave to me and all others in her life.
Thinking of my Dolores,
The Demonmaster
Rick,
It is amazing to see the range and depths of your thoughts and emotions this week! What is this, if it isn’t simply being alive? Perhaps a kind of proof that she lives on–not just the memory of her, but love that lives on despite the absence of her physical presence. And, of course, you are worthy of that because we both knew her in different times and places, but she was never one to be a self-sacrificing martyr, only living for someone else. That is not the meaning of love. To know true love is two people waking up everyday and choosing to be there for each other and it seems as though this legacy can live on.