The Memorial

          A few of my close friends ask me to post the words I spoke at Dolores’ Memorial Service today because they wanted to read it to some of there friends that could not attend. And so with your indulgance I will post it here,

          I would like to thank all of you for coming and tell you Dolores would be overwhelmed by the turnout. I don’t think she ever realized just how much she was loved by so many different people. How many women do you know that could have two husbands standing here saying nice things about them on the same day!

           I thought about not saying anything or just ad-libbing today, but quickly decided that might lead to disaster. So I wrote this to keep me on track and say the things I think Dolores would want said, and a couple of things I wish to say.

      A lot of you knew her longer than I, but I would like to think not better. God put us together and against all reason and logic, it worked beyond belief.

      Dolores wasn’t a people person, she didn’t glad hand, work a room or strive to make the social register. But if she choose you as a friend, then you were blessed with an undying force of support and compassion by a woman with an unmatched intellect and boundless energy. And if like me she loved you; then you know that she had a way of making you feel that you are the only one in her universe.

      At 3:00 this morning I woke up and realized exactly what I needed to say here today to honor my Dolores. I have asked the question as I’m sure many of you have, Why did God put us together? And why did it work so well?

The answer to that is the true message today. For you younger couples I won’t begin to think I know what it is like to start out during these times, If you ask any of us older folks we are just glad it’s not us!  And for you older couples; don’t think you still can’t learn something.

Dolores and I spent 5 years together and almost every minute of that time was together. As I stand before God and all of you, I can honestly say in all that time never an angry or hurtful word passed between us. How many can claim that? If I sound proud, it is because I have been humbled.

I have heard from those that knew her for a long time say that she had a bit of a quick temper. I never saw it.

Those that really know me would say I could be the court jester on one hand, or have the emotional range of Mr. Spock on the other. So how could we have a relationship so rare and so loving?

I thought she was put in my life to save me. Because of my love for her, I quit smoking, conquered my anxiety, and got my blood pressure under control and became a healthier and much happier person, all from just being with her and never once being asked by her to change anything.

I have heard it said by some that God put me in her life to take care of her at the end because he knew I would sacrifice everything to be at her side and bring her the comfort she deserved.

I think I have finally figured it out. God put us together to be an example of what can be and what should be. In her honor I can say we found together that Happiness doesn’t come from how much money you have, or in what social circles you travel, you will not find it on the 5 star vacations you may take. It will not come from the car you drive or the house you live in, instead you will find it comes from the everyday. The sitting together quietly, the telling each other several time a day, every day, how much you love each other.  And loving each other for what you are, not what you might become or should become. And most important of all is simply holding each other every day just to be close. To understand what it means to put the other person before you in all things. It is our wish for you that if you can find half of what we have; then my friend, you have everything.

I would ask that in your busy life that you would find time to sit aside so that you will remember Dolores, and pray that she will be at peace and full of joy until the day I get to join her.

      And in my heart I know she would not want today to be a day of sadness and sorrow, but rather a day that you would celebrate her life, remember the things that make you smile or laugh and she would be quick to tell you the best way, the only way really to do that; is to enjoy some Mexican food and drink a couple margaritas.

Thank You.

The Demonmaster

Please leave a comment