For all of you that thrive on the details I have compiled all the info I have concerning my trip.
· Total Miles 5,540
· Total gallons of gas 229.69
· Total cost for gas $911.89
· Average cost per gallon $3.97
Now this cannot be used to calculate MPG because this includes refilling the bike at the end of the trip as well as the 5 gal can on the trailer. I did check my MPG from time to time along the trip and found I was consistently at 33 MPG. I felt this was pretty good seeing that I have a hard time staying at the speed limit. That combined with towing a camper around, not bad!
I hope I have inspired you to get out and do something before you find yourself alone on a trip you would rather not be taking alone. It don’t have to be on a motorcycle braving the elements, it might be anything, but if you dream it, do it, don’t put it off.
If you go to any old folks home and ask any of the old people there what is their biggest regret, I promise you it isn’t that they did something wrong or inappropriate in their lives that troubles them in their last years, it is always the things they didn’t do or try or dare or risk. And if you don’t believe me I challenge you to go find the most moral front row five at the most conservative church you can find and they will all tell you they regret not playing slap and tickle with the hot redhead, or didn’t go skydiving or didn’t go camping in Alaska or didn’t tell that asshole to go, well you know the rest. If you don’t get anything else from my writings please take this message to heart:
DON’T WAIT, DO IT NOW!
I woke up one day and thought to myself at 54 I am too damn young to be a widower, I don’t like it one damn bit. Dolores and I had plans for our old age together. Well that will never happen! So now I’m left to find a new normal. How the hell I do that is anyone’s guess. I find myself at a most awkward age, too old to start all over, too young to just wait for the end. I have to find a great deal on a used life, sorta like a car. I know it doesn’t sound very exciting or romantic does it?, but even if I could put it in a kinder and nicer light it still comes down to the same thing. I keep thinking unless I find a woman that is a widow she will never understand just what it is to lose your very breath. On the other hand could two people with such deep loss build a relationship that would be anything but remorse dressed up like love and support? No matter what, at my age we all have baggage; the trick is finding someone without the carry-on type.
I know it is way too soon for this kind of wondering, but when is the right time? Do you know? Or are you like all the rest of the well meaning folks that say things like, Oh you will know, just don’t rush things. Or just take your time, don’t put pressure on yourself right now, just heal and be. You know this approach didn’t work out so well for Dolores and I now did it! We just took one day at a time and then one day she was dead and I’m still here! On the other hand, is just skin and wrinkles!
I wonder what she thinks, but so far she isn’t talking. Nothing, not one small hint or anything. You would think by now she would be settled in enough to just drop me a hint or visit me in a dream or something! Well apparently not. I’m still waiting, I hear all these stories about how other have been visited and talk to their lost loves and all that, but not me! So far it is a very one sided conversation. Do you think I’m losing it?! I don’t, but then isn’t that the first sign of something wrong? Oh well I think I feel a bit better now after saying all this, sorry you had to listen, well not really you could just stop reading anytime you wish.
I think I’ll make me a sandwich and have a cold glass of milk.
Later,
The Demonmaster
Rick,
It’s been nine years since Deborah left on her great adventure with God. I waited two years, before datting then a friend set me up with a neat gal. I kept everything at arm’s length, cuz I didn’t want a mate for the wrong reason. I was on the waiting list for a bilateral lung transplant, which happened four years ago. So now I am quite taken with the redhead w/blue eyes of my dreams. Now I am in take it easy mode so I don’t screw this one up.
All I can say is live each day fully. Hopefully you will stumble across another lady with high standards. Like others have said if it feels right with both of you go fer it. Nothing complicated, love should come again for everyone if that’s your hearts desire.
Have a great week Rick,
more again one day, Carl
Rick,
Sorry for the intrusion, but I needed to write to you. Your site and postings are an inspiration to everyone. Your postings and most intimate thoughts about Doris and your journeys – past, present, and furture – are an inspiration to everyone, and bring, in many cases, a smile to our faces.
Six months ago today, March 25th, my husband of 20 years passed away. Like you, I’m far too young to be a widow. I keep very busy, fooling myself that I’m as strong a woman as everyone thinks I am. It’s easy to do when someone’s around. I implode on a daily basis, and have learned to accept it. So has my dog, Tyson (a boxer) as he climbs up on the couch and licks my tears away (kisses from my beloved Carlos); the cats, Buck and Roger, could care less — as long as there’s food in their bowls.
The post that you wrote about giving your couch away and rearranging the furniture was spot on. I decided to move from our house – only 3 miles away, but still a move. Carlos didn’t pass away at home, but he really didn’t like this house, and now, either do I. This also forces me to go through his clothes so I can donate them, and to sort his other things for distribution among his family. So on October 10th, the animals and I are hitting the road.
I’ll be taking a couple of road trips with Carlos to share him with his favorite sites and cities (the beach in Ocean City, MD; the Chesapeake Bay Bridge in Annapolis, MD; the lake on my parents’ property in Winter Haven, Florida; Mt. Rainier in Washington; Muir Woods in northern California; and Niagra Falls on the Toronto, Canada side.
I do have one proposition for you — and please receive this in the spirit of which I’m offering — if you ever get to the Washington, DC area, please let me know. While I live in College Park, Maryland (very close to DC), it would be my pleasure to give you an “insider’s” tour of the city (by night it’s magnificent) — and incredibly humbling and peaceful. (Did Doris and you ever participate in the Rolling Thunder event at the Pentagon?) This past Saturday night I visited the 9-11 memorial at the Pentagon, and sat for quite a while reflecting on the times in which we now live, and how I wish Carlos was here to hold my hand and tell me not to be afraid, that he’ll “handle” it. After a long conversation with him, and feeling his arms around me as well as the arms of all who were lost at that site, I felt blessed to have the presence of mind to be able to handle everything as best I could.
I need to get back to work — if you have time, please write back. If not, I’ll continue to enjoy your posts!
Stay strong,
Pamelaw